Firstly you should know that I’m completely ignorant of the outside world right now. I only recently convinced my parents to stop monitoring my internet usage and remove all the filters on my computer (big mistake on their part!). I’ve never been out of my small town in the deep south, never met a non-Christian, never met a non-white person. I say this because my questions may be stupid and trivial to you. I’m 14, I’ve been raised to think you’re all immoral, evil people (although I know that isn’t true), I’ve never known anything else. I don’t want to be ignorant anymore so I’d appreciate if you could give some guidance 
Where did everything come from? Was there a point where there was absolutely nothing? If so, how did something then come from nothing?
Everything is so complicated, and yet it all works perfectly. How did that happen by chance?
What would the point in making up Christianity be? It’s not like Christian belief says that you should just chill all day and be allowed to do anything you want, in fact being a Christian can be inconvenient. No pre-marital sex, no masturbation, no gay sex etc, these are inconvenient, I’d love if I could fap all day and not go to hell for it!
Where does morality come from? Is it subjective, or do humans have a natural set of morals?
Why do I feel so strongly that God exists? I can’t not believe in Him. I can honestly say that I just know He exists,** I know it’s illogical** but I can feel Him in me. Have any of you felt like this before?
What do you suggest I do to find out more? What should I read (online, I’m not allowed books that my parents deem ‘inappropriate’ i.e. atheist books)?
Hopefully my parents don’t find out about this… dat belt O.O They can’t kick me out at 14 right?
If you have any advice, I’d love to hear it. I’m really confused about everything, everything I thought I’m now sceptical about, I feel like my whole life has been a huge lie. I still believe in God (though I understand that is silly), I don’t know why, I just do. I know I’m dumb, but please try to refrain from making fun of me
Thank you!
